The Feds: Feeney and the Kelvinator

Moreland is lucky enough to host two federal politicians. Senator David Feeney has recently settled just across from the Post Office Hotel, while Kelvin Thomson, Member for Wills, has long been located just around the corner near the Coburg RSL.

Moreland Shriek powerfully endorses both the Post Office and the Coburg RSL, and some of their gloss may yet rub off on the feds.

Feeney, as he is known to those who hope that calling him 'Feeney' will somehow impart characteristics similar to Chuck Feeney (but not Tom Feeney), has only been in parliament since mid-2008. The jury is still out on Feeney, but he does have the inestimable good fortune of being married to a top-notch legal eagle who goes by the fabulous name of Liberty Sanger, so it is safe to assume he will make a very good case indeed.

The Kelvinator, as he is known to the friends he has not yet met, is a bit of a dude and an all-round champion. He's tall and bald and lean and mean, and he gives a big damn about Edgars Creek. He also mixes it up with the local hoods: Tony Mokbel, Phil Cleary, Bob Hawke. All came before the Kelvinator, yet only the Kelvinator remains.

He has also lately been having a stern word with high school students about population control. But more of that later. First, there are more important matters to attend: do you prefer the Post Office Hotel or the Coburg RSL? M.Shriek readers will immediately realise the importance of this question. M.Shriek suggests the answer is crucial to political fortunes in Moreland.

Being concerned about political fortunes in Moreland, M.Shriek thought it wise to put this question to both Feeney and the Kelvinator. But in the spirit of good faith, we do not resile from stating M.Shriek's position:

Hocking draught with respect for tradition is important, and both the Post Office and the Coburg RSL honour tradition in their own unique way: one through homage to the seediness of Moreland's penal past, the other through respect for a retired serviceman's need to sit somewhere with guns on the wall and quietly drink cold beer.

But M.Shriek prefers the Coburg RSL - it has lawn out the front.

It is Coburg, after all.